In this part of our world, it is
indeed a pride to go to the university. However, in the perspective of others,
it is not just about going to the university but studying a ‘prominent’ course
matters, too. Courses galore; a wide array of courses ranging from Zoology to
Archaeology, Mathematics to History, Political Science to Theatre Arts!
Welcome to the university where the
mention of some courses gets one wondering what they entail and the prospects
of one being ‘gainfully’ employed after studying it! At the mere mention of
some of these courses, people burst into uncontrollable laughter probably
because of their names. The respect sometimes accorded to one is even dependent
on the course he or she does study.
Inquisitive as I have always been, I
was out there to sample the views of what some university greenhorns thought
some courses entailed and the prospects of those who studied them. Yikes! Their
thoughts were indeed witty. Honorable ladies and gentlemen, I deem it such a
rare honor to present to you a tall list of courses, ‘prominent’ and
‘non-prominent’ ones alike and what people assume they are. Please don’t scream
your lungs out yet…
HISTORY: The study of dead news!
Those who study it are likely to become nothing but storytellers!
CLASSICS: The study of ancient
Greek mythologies. Those who study it are likely to become magicians!
METEOROLOGY: The study of how to
predict the weather. Prospects in this field are soothsaying or
fortune-telling!
AGRIC: The study of production
of crops in theory and never in practice. Graduates are likely to find
themselves anywhere apart from their rightful belonging- the farm!
RELIGIONS: The study of as many
religions as possible and how neither of them can be trusted. Prospects in this
field are still uncertain!
BIOCHEMISTRY:
The study
of the brewing alcohol. Graduates are likely to take up jobs either in the
brewery industries or ‘akpeteshie’ bars!
ARCHAEOLOGY: The legal exhumation of
anything buried in the name of extraction of the past. Graduates become
authorized gravediggers otherwise called archaeologists!
MEDICINE: The study of
‘trial-and-error’ methods of treating sick people! Likely profession is
‘trial-and-errorist’ better known as medical doctor!
LAW: The study of how to set
two parties against each other and then mediate at the same time for a fee!
Those who study it become liars also known as lawyers!
ZOOLOGY: The study of how to
manage animals in a zoo. Prospects in this course are zoo keeping!
POLITICAL
SCIENCE:
The study of political ideologies as a Science. Graduates are likely to occupy
ministerial positions or become ‘foot soldiers’!
THEATRE ARTS
better known as ‘DONDOLOGY’: The study of drumming and dancing. The likelihood of being a
celebrity is very high because you would be seen on TV!
NATURAL
RESOURCES:
The study of how to maximize the nation’s already scanty natural resources,
cutting waste down to its barest minimum. One is likely to be the president
after studying it!
PHYSICS: The study of abstract laws and theories propounded by
some excited fellows. One is likely to take up a job in the field of bomb making!
CHEMISTRY: The study of how abstract
theories can be proven in the testube. Graduates become confused SHS Chemistry
teachers who can tell all about theories but can’t prove it!
HOME
SCIENCE:
The study of how to become a good wife as far as good cooking is concerned.
Graduates become chefs!
PHILOSOPHY: The study of
controversial ideologies and how to effectively confuse others and yourself
with them. Those who study it are likely
to be social commentators!
PHARMACY: The study of how to prescribe drugs at your
own discretion even at the peril of your unsuspecting customers. Prospects in
this field are chemical selling!
LANGUAGES: The study of foreign
languages and how to interpret and misinterpret them as and when necessary.
Graduates are likely to find themselves in the courts of law, embassies and so
on and so forth!
HERBAL
MEDICINE: The
study of how to clinically make drugs from leaves. Graduates become fetish
priests!
SCULPTURE: The study of how to
professionally make idols from wood and sand. Graduates become sculptors who
can strike deals with shrines all over the nation!
LAND
ECONOMY: The study of how to use land
profitably. Graduates can best become typical Accra landlords who wouldn’t mind
selling their lands and ‘perch’ on someone else’s!
PSYCHOLOGY: The study of the mind in
order to draw hasty generalizations and conclusions. Graduates are likely to be
football coaches!
OCEANOGRAPHY
AND FISHERIES: The study of the ocean and its contents.
Graduates become professional fishermen!
SOCIAL WORK:
The study
of volunteerism. Graduates are likely to find themselves with either the N.G.Os
or Zoom Lion!
NURSING: The study of how to
completely serve doctors and in return vent your anger on the poor patient.
Graduates become the doctor’s maid and menservants better known as nurses!
COMPUTER
SCIENCE: The
study of theories upon theories of computer by rote. Prospects in this field
are assembling and disassembling computer parts in the name of repairs!
AEROSPACE
ENGINEERING: The study of how to fly a plane, regardless of the total number of the
number of planes and airline companies in the country. Graduates become
dreamers who achieved their childhood dreams but never had the opportunity practice
them!
SPORTS AND
EXERCISE SCIENCE: The study of how to keep the body fit and strong, hence
evading the NHIS (National Health Insurance Scheme) as possible as one can.
Graduates are likely to manage keep fit clubs and gymnasia!
GEOGRAPHY: The detailed study of map
work. Graduates become ‘map-of-Ghana’ experts!
STATISTICS: The study of how to take
stock of people. Graduates don’t work until censuses!
INFORMATION
STUDIES:
The study of how to intellectually broadcast information. Graduates are likely
to take up jobs in the palaces as state-of-the-art linguists!
MATHEMATICS:
The study
of nerve-racking formulae that can hardly be proven in reality. Graduates have
no other option than to confuse themselves and others in the name of teaching!
GEOLOGY: The study of how to
memorize as many rock names as one can imagine. Graduates become tourist
guides!
Cherished reader, these are to
mention but a few of the witty yet erroneous remarks of some university
greenhorns. The study of every course in the university is extremely essential
in our nation building; its name may, however, not seem enticing.
For instance, the study of Political Science does not necessitate one to be a politician, as the name might suggest. In the long run, it becomes more than obvious that all courses are important.
For instance, the study of Political Science does not necessitate one to be a politician, as the name might suggest. In the long run, it becomes more than obvious that all courses are important.
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