ONE GHANA FOR YOUR POCKET

1.      I live in a country where most of us only remember our nationality every four (4) years- World Cup!

2.      It is only in my country that spiritual ‘Mallam’ men (and women) advertise their juicy ‘products’ as much as or even more than telecommunication companies do advertise theirs.

3.      In my country, we don’t have natural disasters. We have national disasters (who double as natural disasters though) … called politicians. They pay themselves not for problems solved because they themselves are a problem we are yet to solve.

4.      Somewhere in my country, God has to do re-creation every rainy season; separating the waters within homes and offices of people from the waters without.

5.      It is only in my country that while others experience acute water shortage for weeks, the same dams which were supposed to have supplied such with water spill over to flood homes because of excess water!

6.      In my country, most of the state-owned companies perform better than even the private ones. The best of such government-manned companies is the famed ECG (Electricity Company of Ghana). You haven’t heard of them? They rule. Even a kid knows them for what they do best; providing darkness!

7.      In this same country, this darkness-providing company plays dilly-dally with God and the devil. At one time, they would blame ‘dumsor’ on lack of water in the dams and just when God had poured excessive rain on us, they blame their woes on errrm… the devil.

8.      I live in a country where the words ‘nationalism’ and ‘sacrifice’ are most abused. The fat salaries of those who preach them make us wonder which kind of such they are referring to; Footballers. Politicians.

9.      Everywhere in my country, having your problems solved by a politician(s) is a rare privilege one should forever be grateful for. These national disasters, otherwise called politicians, come back every four years to keep on promising solving problems which they had previously promised to solve and… someway somehow…they are always right... it only remains a promise!

10.   It is only in my country that overwhelmingly outrageous deeds happen. For example, high rising buildings and dwarves can cause depreciation of our currency, someone’s death can bring a halt to policy implementation, mobile phones can cause power fluctuations, among others. Maybe we’re just from another planet; Venus perhaps!

11.   In my country, we have precious minerals like gold, diamond and party cards. In all one’s getting, get a party card. With such cards, one can go wherever; Brazil, Heaven, name them… as long as one’s party is in power.

12.   Probably, it might only be in my country that politicians chase us every four years to give them their daily bread, while we chase them for the subsequent four years to give us our daily bread!

13.  I guess it is only in my country that jobs are tied to a decade of experience when graduates actually do get their first job after close to a decade!

14.   It is only in my country that regardless of how many times most of us complain about politicians, a chunk of us still remain stooges in their sight. They are remote controllers. Most of us are TVs!

15.   And... it is only in my country that after the policy makers ban transactions in dollars in a bid to salvage our drowning currency, they go back to pray for forgiveness in their closets… because they do exactly that!