Just for laughs.
1. The
Fanti kenkey seller whose fist-sized kenkey is made to look extraordinarily big
because it is wrapped with leaves large enough to be my bed sheet!
2. Ghallywood
and Kumawood movie producers (or is it directors?) who keep on telling us the
same story over and over again… only with different titles, actors and
actresses!
3. Social
media users, especially ladies, who upload overly edited pictures as their profile
pictures when they know they look nothing near it!
4. Trotro
conductors (mates, to wit) who keep on telling us “last two” when indeed there
are only two people seated in the 33-seater bus!
5. Our
parent-in-law who never tell us the market value of their daughters only for us
to marry them and they slam us with the condition ‘goods bought/sold are not
returnable’!
6. Our
self-styled girlfriends who have stolen others’ identity with the help of Brazilian
hair, Chinese make-up and what have you, such that even today we can’t make
them out without these ‘identity-stealing accessories’!
7. The
audience at weddings and funerals who take as much food and wine as one can’t
imagine into their stomachs and homes yet… drop a wrinkled GH1 note into the
offertory basket!
8. Our
wives who know our children are not ours and our houseboys who know they do
more than just cleaning!
9. Ladies
who courtesy skin toning creams re-package themselves such that we date them again
and again without even knowing we had dated them earlier!
10. The
policeman who insists on getting us change even if we have the largest Ghana
cedi denomination as ‘something for the
boys’ when he is old enough to be our step father!
11. The
lecturer who knows that he is what he is courtesy ‘copy and paste’ yet stands in the way of students who try to do
same!
12. Our
educational system which knew that we would eventually be rendered jobless
after all the many years of draining our pockets of our wealth, yet watched on
as we were battered with abstract theories we can only apply in space!
13. Our
employers who emotionally burden us with big titles/positions in our workplaces
yet slap us with a scanty, inversely proportional salary!
14. Tenants
who ‘intentionally’ get cholera/diarrhea to exhaust every toilet bill they pay monthly
to their landlords!
15. Remedial
schools who pray for failure of WASSCE candidates so business can boom for
them!
16. Restaurants
which insert ‘leaves’ into half a loaf of bread (which costs less than a Ghana
cedis) and deceptively call it another name, sandwich perhaps, selling it to us
over ten times its original cost!
17. Spiritualists
who claim to have solutions to every financial headache yet watch on as the
nation drowns in a sea of debt!
18. Herbalists
who won’t stop fuelling rape by selling drugs that supposedly make ‘feeble men’
supermen overnight, thus, driving them to try their potency on anything in
earrings!
19. Prophets
who are the brain behind the brains who would travel even through the deserts
to get to the white man’s land because such prophets won’t stop prophesying to
such that they can see God giving them visas!
20. Ladies
who have lost hope in young men of today because they think we can’t keep our
promise… like ECG!
Over to you AMA (Accra Metropolitan Assembly).
Effect the arrests since that’s what you have been doing lately, aside all your
troubles.
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