Just for laughs.
1. “Stars
shine better in darkness. We know you have a star inside you. Let us help bring
out the star in you!”
2. “If
your lights stay on for more than three (3) days uninterrupted, it doesn’t mean
you’re smarter or the one who controls the switch hasn’t returned from the
funeral he attended yet. We’re giving you light ‘loan’ which you will
definitely pay for later on!”
3. “Ghana
is blessed with mineral resources such as gold, diamond and dumsor. If you don’t have gold and
diamond, at least we can’t be such inhumane to deprive you of dumsor, too. Dumsor-
Proudly Ghanaian!”
4. “Football
coaches send their teams to relegation. Presidents even send their nations to
relegation. We are not the first to go to relegation after all. ECG; in
darkness is love!”
5. “Be
Ghanaian. Buy made-in-Ghana goods; lanterns, candles, etc. We, the darkness
specialists, are on an economy-building campaign. Dumsor; patronizing darkness made in Ghana!”
6. “A
bird that flies from the ground and lands on an anthill doesn’t know that it’s
still on the ground. Buying generators and rechargeable lamps can’t exempt you
from our darkness. Wait until we patent all of these and you’ll know that we
mean business. Light in Ghana belongs to us and us alone!”
7. “If
you have life, thank God. If you’ve lights, thank ECG. Both are as scarce as
anything you can’t imagine!”
8. “Don’t
worry your head over what you can’t change. If no matter how hot your anger may
be, it cannot cook yam and no matter how much you weep, it cannot fill the
Akosombo dam, then cheer up! Be de-lighted in ECG!”
9. “No
matter how powerful a man is, he cannot let rain to fall on his farm alone. No
matter how political that same man is, he cannot swerve our wrath of darkness.
We serve everyone equally and impartially!”
10. “A
person who sleeps with itchy buttocks wakes up with smelly fingers. Those
complaining we are the cause of their unwanted pregnancies, what were they
doing in their boyfriends’ homes after 6pm when they know we work every day!?”
11. “It
is only an adventurous man who dares to fart in his state of diarrhea. It is
only the most adventurous man who would buy a plasma TV in this age without
thinking about it is going to be powered!”
12. “However
kind a man is, he would never give his wife as a gift to his friends. So tell
us… why do you want us to give you our light as a daily gift?”
13. “He
who has diarrhea knows the direction of the door without being told. If you
can’t locate your home during dumsor
after all these successful years of our service, consult a fetish priest; you
have more than diarrhea!”
14. “We
wish we could control the Sun’s light, too. Our customers would really have
appreciated its essence when controlled by God. Make hay while the Sun shines!”
15. “A
goat’s frown will not stop it from being taken to the market. A Ghanaian’s
frown is not enough to stop us from giving our light in tots!”
16. “He
who swallows a water melon whole has such great faith in his anus. Don’t
exercise such faith when buying your electrical appliances because you never
consulted us before doing so. We’re not God to provide light during both the
day and night!”
17. “No
matter how long the eagle stays in the skies, it would definitely come back to
the ground to feed. Don’t insult us too much. Do not call the forest that
shelters you a jungle. Walls have ears. You can’t do without us! #RulersOfGH”
18. “A
chicken’s prayer doesn’t affect the hawk. If you’ve been praying to God for an
end to dumsor, it might not have
gotten to Him yet. The prayer lines need light and we’re not giving it yet!”
19. “You
cry when paying bills. If you think electricity is expensive, try dumsor!”
20. “America has Hollywood. China has the Great
Wall. Egypt has the pyramids. Ghana has ECG!”
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